half-brotherly bonding ((idek um sandy))

[Ulysses Richardson]

Ulysses was being forced to hang out with his meth head brother that would suck Jesus' cock to get meth. He sighed knowing that his own brother is going to try to become an actor like him.

[Sandy Richards]

Sandy stared at Ulysses for a while, unsure of how to break the silence, until suddenly it dawned upon him. He was going to ask the question...the qUESTION...he had always wanted to ask.
"So, bro...like, uh...why are you a Satanist, man?"

[Ulysses Richardson]

"Just because I'm dating Jupiter doesn't mean I'm a fucking satanist. I'm an atheist often confused for both a girl and a satanist," he responded rolling his eyes.

[Sandy Richards]

"Atheism is no better than Satanism, bro," Sandy responded, looking offended and on the verge of tears, when in reality he was just really fucking high. "Jesus does not approve either way, man."

[Ulysses Richardson]

Ulysses rolled his eyes and dropped his jaw replying, "Well, I'm not the one on meth because I give a fuck about my appearance. How the fuck am I going to go in public without my beautiful face? My dyed black as night hair, my porcelain face, my deadly eyeliner, and my designer clothes? Also, I realized that I'm not just bi, but I'm gay."

[Sandy Richards]

"I don't give a shit about what stick your penis into, man. But like, I'm still way more attractive than you, and meth is awesome. Not my fault that you're just like, uh...lame, and stuff, man. Plus, don't you like, do LSD and shit? So yeah, bro...hate isn't cool, man..." Sandy replied, thinking of beaches...and women...on beaches...not wearing any clothing...

[Ulysses Richardson]

"I'm the one who gets penetrated, so get your shit right before you wreck yourself. Actually, I'm the more attractive one since I've been featured on some lists of the sexiest people in Hollywood. Well, LSD won't damage my face," Ulysses retorted.

[Sandy Richards]

"Okay...in that case I don't care what goes into your butthole, man...as long as you shave it, dude...as long as you shave it. And like shit LSD won't damage your face, man! But whatever, man...I think meth has actually made me more attractive," Sandy said matter-of-factly as he rubbed his face in a SENSUAL...manner.

[Ulysses Richardson]

He gave a facepalm and replied, "Why are you wondering if I shave my butthole? I'm the one who got my dick pierced. You are so oblivious to the effects of meth. Also, when you die of meth, i won't be going to your funeral."

[Sandy Richards]

Sandy decided to attempt to be philosophical, a method of replying to insults he used when about to cry. Holding back tears, he spoke, "Whatever man...when I die, I'm gonna be eternal. I'm gonna live on. I won't die, because people will remember me...all the dick piercings in the world could not buy this extraordinary pleasure, you shaven dickhead!"

[Ulysses Richardson]

"Shaven dickhead? Who the fuck do you think you are? Y̢̯͙̙͉o͍̰u̡'̵͓̫͕̠̣ll͖͉̭͙̥ ͔n̢͔̙e̳͎̭̳̞̞͔͟v̶̼̣e̷̘͖̫r̘͕̱̥͇̹͕ m̥͍̤͖̣̕ͅa̪͔̭̲̭͚͡k̖͙̮͈͜e̪͚̕ i̷͍̪̭͕̩ͅt ̣̻̕b̸̟̖̥͕͙̬i̖̖͈̠̝͟g̵̯̪̘̭ ͖̖̝̳i̺̪͉̙̟̳͟ǹ̥̲̫̞̱̝ ͜Ho͈̟͠l̗̪̲l̯͇͖̤̫̱y̪̟̠̦̖͢ͅw͉̳̼̲̮͇o͝o̱̻̱̰̬̯̘͝d̰͡.̶̣ͅ P̤͇̥͓͡e̡ơ̘̖̟̼p̵̖l͇e̗̣̻̱͈̤ͅ ̳͕͎̰̠ąr͔̘̭̙̻̦̘e̘̰̭̞̹͚͎ ̘g͇̖oi͠n̖̝̠g͡ ̻̱͕̤̣͞t͈͔̘̫̺̬o͉̩͕͠ ̲̟̩͎̜̺ͅl͔͝ͅau͍̮͚̦̮̫̲g̼̺̦͡h̯̞ ̢̟͍͙͍̘̠͈a̼̯̺̺͞t̳͔̰̳͖͚͉ ̧̟̟̥̰̪̥̜yo̰̖u̢̯̞̹͚̺̳̹r̝̙̫ ̨̬̘̼f͙̮͔̭̰̠͘a͇i̸̥̤͇̯̗͕l͔̳ṳr͇e̗̙̭͓͈,͚̖̦̖̲̘͈͟ ̭͜ą̘̼̯̰n̘̱̮̻̺͇d͍͖͎͞ ̝̘̹̘̝̦̘I̟̮̝̩͕̹̖'͚l̝̥͇̖̪̘l̦̤̤̫͜ͅ ͈̼̫͔m̜̜̀a̘͈k҉͇̣̜e̡ ̘̻̬s̙u̘̲̮̟̳͉͝r̡e̸̖̝ ̛̭̗͍͕̖̟̲t̙͇̪͚̤̤h̤̙̳̪̟͟a̻͕̻͖̠̲t͕͜ ̮̯̟̹̫ͅy̞̪͈̹͢ͅo̬̫̬̰̥̤u̺̥̼͎̹r̺̖ ̪̪̖a͍s̶͉ͅș̴ ̛̤̬̯̣w̫͈i̜̬̟̮̬͖̜͟l̩̫̀ĺ̪̙͓͍̖̬ n̤͍͈e͕̜̲̩̻̹̳͡v̱̕e͉̫r̷̳̪͚̪̮ ͉͇̣͇̙̘̙m̥͎͇͡a̶̳̱̤͚̭̫k̛̭̼͙̞͚̣̤e͈̺̭̹̱̦̫ ̟͈̹̹ͅi̫͇̺̖͕͓͜t̶̝͔̜̬̝̠̗ ̫͓͖̥̕p̵̱͍̪͉as̻̱͉̤͈ṯ̗̰ͅ ̛͙̼͙̤̹̻b͇̖e̖̤̫̝i͏͓̦̱ń̲̲͖͇g̛̩ ̥̬̖̼͙͡i͔n̲̜͎ ̟̙̝t͔h̳̤͕ḙ͍̺͝ ̷b̭̮̞̘̞̞̹a͖̰̤͠c̲k҉̘̺̬͇̳͉g̩̼̫r͕͈͎̟ou̞̲͍͚͈͉n̪͖͍̭̜̜͚d̵̤̗̣.̺̠̘͡ ̞̫̳̗͝B̝͖͇͝e̛͉͓̻c̵͎͎̙̠̯͙a̭͠u̮̲̫̜͉̻̻s̸͙̠̝e̩ ̺̦̳̰a̖̘̙̦̞̫͠s̶͇͉̱̤s̨̜͉͇̗͚̞͓h̯̠͜o̮̹̯͎̯l̴e̯̺̤̖̻͇,̷͇ ͏̗̗I̪̜͈̱̗̺'̡l̩̟̮̟l̹͜ ̫̞̺͞gu̮̫̫̦̘̣a̧̬̗̬̩̲̪r͏̦̩͚͉̩a̴̹͉̗n̥̺̪͙̟t̀e͈e͡ ̩̠͔͙̞t̥̻h̹̞͕a̟̫̖̣̼t̵ ͔͔y͠ou͓͈̩͙ͅ'̸̹̱̺͕͓̘̗l͇l̕ ̮̺̫b̮͎̮͜e̘̩͎̦͠ ̮͓̣̤̖͉b̡͖̮̟͉̹̲la̴̯̺͚̰͔͚̼c̰̙͚k͍̥̳l̛̼̠̲̟̙i̛̠s̺te̗̼̘͖d̜̮̫̺ f̰̟̺o̖̦͜ͅͅr̞̱̙̣̘͍ e̱̣̣̗͘v̝͍͠e̶̪͇͕͈̫̪͈r̵͍̱̼̖ͅ." Ulysses replied in a demonic outburst only to quickly snap out of it unsure of what has been going on with him and acting like a demon or something lately.

[Sandy Richards]

"Woah, man...woah, man...I must have smoked more meth than I thought, to be having hallucinations like this..." Sandy whispered to himself, taking a few steps back.

[Ulysses Richardson]

Ulysses started look down at his hands in paranoia; he doubt that it was his meds causing this to happen because h's been on them for many years. "I-I-I don't think that was a hallucination. Oh my god..."

[Sandy Richards]

Sandy, always the prepared one, pulled out his meth pipe, already filled with meth; and a lighter...and then he smoked meth...mmmm....titties. It's like the green stuff Popeye eats, whatever that is, thought Sandy, charging towards Ulysses, getting ready to show off his hot KARATE MOVES.

[Ulysses Richardson]

"Wh-wh-what the fuck are you doing? Weird things have been happening lately. I've been puking a lot, actually cleaning my house, eating a shit load of pasta every fucking day, and having these weird demonic outbursts, and I have no clue why," he commented in fear.

[Sandy Richards]

Right before he was about to strike Ulysses with his HOT KARATE CHOP, he stopped, and instead put his head against Ulysses' stomach. "Man, maybe I'm just really high, dude, but I think you're pregnant,...wwow.."

[Ulysses Richardson]

"I'm pretty sure that guys don't get pregnant, so why are you saying that?" Ulysses asked raising an eyebrow.

[Sandy Richards]

"My angelic meth Jesus instincts do not lie," Sandy told him, gripping his hand and forcing it onto his stomach. "I sense your baby will be...a conjoined...male twin...yes....and you've been pregnant for...about a month, actually...."

[Ulysses Richardson]

Ulysses just looked down as his brother forced his hand onto his own stomach. He gulped touching it. "Oh my god. Conjoined male twins? How am I supposed to tell Jupiter? Mom and dad?"

[Sandy Richards]

Sandy shrugged. "I dunno, man...but I'd advise staying off LSD while you're pregnant...then again, your baby's already kinda...y'know...."

[Ulysses Richardson]

"But I also smoke, and I drink wine at least once a week. What am i even supposed to do? I think I'm going to have a breakdown," he began to weep withgetting his other hand on his stomach.

[Sandy Richards]

Sandy, not knowing what to do, attempted to console him. "Well uh, man like, you just...keep doing you, right? Like, I mean, if I was pregnant, bet your ass I'd still be doing drugs, man! The baby's already kinda screwed up, so just like, do what you need to, man...it's all gonna be OK, dude!"

[Ulysses Richardson]

Ulysses began to look at his brother in disbelief, "You don't understand. I've been so conscious of my body for so long. This is like the end of the world for me since usually after the baby's born, the mother becomes fat. I seriously do not want to lose my body. I would never be able to be in the entertainment business again because people are going to think that I'm an alcoholic."

[Sandy Richards]

"But, technically, you're a father, not a mother," he pointed out, "so maybe you're like, exempt from that rule or something...Plus, I mean, ya' know...if your career ever took a plummet, it could help me breakthrough....of course, that probably won't be necessary..."

[Ulysses Richardson]

He went and slapped Sandy at hearing the last part, "The difference is that I've been famous since I was 7. It's going to be difficult for you to become famous."

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