THE CHRIS MAULDIN CELEBRITY TALK SHOW ((ulysses))

[Chris Mauldin]

Chris excitedly waited in his seat, shifting every once and a while. Everything was in place, and the cameras were ready to roll, they just had to wait for Ulysses' cue to walk on before they went live.
Chris' had been waiting for this interview to take place since the previous night, more than ready to have Ulysses on his show. Recently, there had been a lot of rumors, as well as some plain old regular gossip, surrounding the young movie star, and Chris was eager to talk about it. Of course, he would start it out like a normal conversation at first, greeting Ulysses, asking him about life and whatnot, but after he had given Ulysses a sense of comfort and security, it would be time to really get down to business.

[Ulysses Richardson]

Ulysses got onto the set as the song "Knocking On Heaven's Door" was playing in the background. He sat down in one of those chair things that the person getting interviews always sit down at. The set was all modernized and futuristic compared to the Sephora Queen show where he was often interviewed from time to time when he was a cast member of a very angsty teen drama that's the lovechild of Skins UK and Degrassi.

[Chris Mauldin]

Once the music had finished playing and the audience's applause had come to a stop, Chris kicked the interview off by greeting Ulysses. "Welcome," he said with the usual put-on 'friendly' smile, leaning forward and gripping the other man's hand lightly and shaking it before he rested back into his seat.
"So, how're you today?"

[Ulysses Richardson]

"Really good. I somehow managed to get my ass kicked by Lucy during a bet. We were playing air hockey at an arcade. The winner got to win cupcakes, but they have to share them. The bet was originally the loser has to make dinner, but we recollected about how badly I fuck up when cooking. I actually almost caught our microwave on fire when heating up a Pizza Hut breadstick," he replied looking up and tilting his head to the side.

[Chris Mauldin]

"Oh, sounds like you've been having a lot of fun, then," Chris rushed his reply, ready to change the subject and get on with it. "Speaking of Lucille, there have been quite a few rumors going around that she dated Jupiter Roxx, the notorious shock rock artist. Now, it's a little known fact, at least to us 'insiders', that you had your own little fling with him. So, can you confirm or deny the rumors that he's dated Lucille in the past?"

[Ulysses Richardson]

He looked down and quickly responded, "All I'm going to say is that I'm a gentleman," Ulysses didn't feel as though it wasn't the right time to come out yet, "But I can say that the Lucille part isn't true. He's gay as shit. Hell, his current boytoy actually shoved my phone up his asscrack."

[Chris Mauldin]

"Well, nice to see you clear your girlfriend's name once and for all, though you seem to be reluctant to do the same for yours," Chris paused for a moment, fully digesting everything Ulysses had just said. "Also, if you don't mind me asking, what was that about being a 'gentleman'? What does being a gentleman have to do or have not to do with having sexual relations with the same sex? Are you saying that gay men are incapable of being 'gentlemen', as you put it?"

[Ulysses Richardson]

"Why the fuck are you trying to get into my sex life? It's not as though Jupiter and I filmed a sex tape or anything," replied Ulysses nervously, "Oh my god, gay men are capable of being gentlemen. I was just saying that I'm a gentleman because I do not enjoy talking about my sex life to the public." What a douchebag, he thought rolling his eyes.

[Chris Mauldin]

"Sure you did," Chris rolled his eyes at Ulysses' sudden anger, "anyway, since you're so goddamn sensitive, perhaps we should move on? I hear you're filming a new movie with the director James Slade. How's that going?"

[Ulysses Richardson]

Out of anger, he gave Chris the "fuck you" hand motion thing in sign language and responded, "I think that'd be the most fucking splendid idea ever. It's going well, my cast mates are really kind and easy to work with! It's all going well." Usually, Ulysses isn't this vulgar when it came to interviews unless it was one of those online ones by various fan blogs, but this time it was because an interviewer actually managed to piss him off for once that Tate was actually nicer and wasn't asking him if he had gay sex.

[Chris Mauldin]

"What a lovely hand signal you just did there," Chris said sarcastically, feigning a smile. "Anyway, I'm glad the movie is going well for you and your cast mates. Do you have any other details on it you would like to share?"

[Ulysses Richardson]

"Think of it as one of those mobster films but on a lethal combination of ecstasy and heroin. Then bam you get the movie. It's very experimental," answered Ulysses.

[Chris Mauldin]

"Mmm, sounds very interesting," Chris replied with a smile, though he, of course, didn't really mean it. He was rather agitated by Ulysses' unwillingness to answer his questions, but he supposed it would leave more up to the public's imagination, and perhaps provide for some interesting tabloid headlines.

[Ulysses Richardson]

He could just tell that Chris was as irritated with him as he was vice versa and replied giving a fake smile that seemed genuine, "Oh it is. One of the more trippier things I've done in my career. Right now, there's this film I'm thinking of signing on to after this one that's basically based off of some Thrill Kill Kult songs which is really cool. Especially since I absolutely love Thrill Kill Kult."

[Chris Mauldin]

Chris wasn't exactly sure what the 'Thrill Kill Kult' Ulysses was referring to was, so he decided to just go along with it. "Ah yes, I really enjoy their work as a, uh, band. Who's the director of that film, anyway?"

[Ulysses Richardson]

"'Kooler Than Jesus' is probably one of my favorite songs. The director isn't known too too well, but his pseudonym is Lucifer Brucifer," he said twirling some strands of his hair.

[Chris Mauldin]

Chris had to put some serious effort into not cringing at the name 'Lucifer Brucifer', and he somehow managed to keep his false smile up the whole time. "That sounds very...interesting. It also sounds like you're trying to breakthrough into doing more daring, artsier films, at least compared to some of the other movies you've starred in previously. Would you say this is true?"

[Ulysses Richardson]

Ulysses gave a nod and responded, "I've always loved experimenting and doing really artsy stuff in my career. I find it interesting that people still think I'm that little adorable boy back on The Simple Family. They sure will be shocked if they were to see that film. Sex. Violence. Blasphemy. Gore. It'd be one of the last things people would think I'd do, so I'm really enjoying being able to step out of the usual social norms when it comes to films."

[Chris Mauldin]

"I suppose you only enjoy daring when it comes to films, though," Chris smirked, hoping his stab at Ulysses was clear enough. "Moving on, again, how are things with Lucille going? You two are quite the hot topic in Hollywood right now."

[Ulysses Richardson]

"Things are going really great! We go to Universal a lot. She's basically a really kind, adventurous girl. Lucy's as fun loving as I am, so we sometimes have water balloon fights and stuff. I think she's my other half. I wish I could've met her sooner than I did," he replied giving a smile.

[Chris Mauldin]

"Yeah," Chris nodded, "I've heard that from a lot of people, though I've never been fortunate enough to meet her or have her on my show."
He thought a bit about what he should bring up again, until what he felt like was the perfect topic dawned upon him. "So, speaking of who you're dating right now, let's talk a little bit about the past. There was another girl you were seeing, you two were even married for a while, Omura Tamayuki was her name, I believe. Would you be willing to shed some light on the breakup and whatnot?"

[Ulysses Richardson]

Ulysses looked up and thought, Oh my god. I might as well just say the truth so he doesn't sell shit about my sexuality to the tabloids. "It was complicated really. Shit began going down after the wedding. She tried to make me go on a diet despite the eating disorder I had from when I was 16-20, and we started dating a bit before I began getting help for it. People thought that we were a fairytale couple when it wasn't true at all. I went through a bunch of shit trying to make the marriage last, but Tamayuki wouldn't put her effort in at all. She even stopped talking to me whenever I mentioned the possibility of becoming parents because she was so focused on her body that she often looked at thinspo on the Internet which made me sick to my stomach. Like, dude, your partner had an eating disorder and here you are glamorizing the shit out of it. I ended up filing for divorce since she wouldn't go to marriage counseling and try to have more healthy ideals. I'm quite glad I got myself away from the negative and toxic stuff."

[Chris Mauldin]

"Oh," Chris was somewhat taken back by Ulysses' willingness to answer such a question with such detail, but he couldn't help but feel sympathetic for the man, surprisingly enough. "That's tough, man. Sorry to hear that. Everyone assumed you two had a perfect relationship and you had just broken it up for no reason."

[Ulysses Richardson]

"I actually moved out a bit after I filed for divorce and lived with a friend trying to get over it. It was really hard considering how it was the longest relationship I've ever been in, and I thought she'd be the one," he said with sadness showing that he's still sorta not over it.

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